Reaching orgasm during solo time isn’t a given for every woman. And that can be frustrating when you really want to feel that wonderful release. So get ready to masturbate better with our 6 masturbation tips!
“How can I improve my sex life as a single woman?”
In this article
- Tip 1: Be confident
- Tip 2: Set the mood
- Tip 3: Use your imagination, a book or a film
- Tip 4: Get to know your body
- Tip 5: Try a vibrator
- Tip 6: Try these masturbation techniques
Tip 1: Be confident
Masturbation is still a bit of a taboo. Many women feel ashamed about masturbating, and as many as 55% of women would rather not talk about it at all. But it’s really nothing to feel ashamed about.
“As many as 55% of women would rather not talk about masturbation at all.”
Almost everyone does it, and on top of that, it’s actually really good for you. It helps fight depression, strengthens your pelvic floor and improves circulation in your lower body. Once you can let go of any doubts and shame around masturbation, you’ll find that pleasuring yourself becomes a lot more enjoyable too.
Tip 2: Set the mood
Most women don’t go from zero to fully aroused in a flash. Arousal needs to build. So don’t dive straight in at the clitoris — it won’t have much effect yet. Your body needs time to send blood to your vulva and wake your nerve endings up.
Start by warming your body up. Think about something arousing. Massage your nipples and work your way down. You’ll feel for yourself when you’re aroused enough to take it further. But allow at least 10 to 20 minutes to fully warm up. After that, masturbating will feel better and more intense.
“What does an orgasm feel like? Have I had one?”
Tip 3: Use your imagination, a book or a film
There’s more and more porn out there made for women. An erotic story or a cheeky fantasy can also help get you in the mood. You’ll find that a piece of writing, a video or an exciting fantasy can take you over the edge.
Tip 4: Get to know your body
If you don’t know what feels good, masturbation will never really feel good. So discover what you like. Start at the top and let your hands glide over your body. Don’t skip your nipples — they’re one of your erogenous zones. Stroke them, gently squeeze them, and figure out what works best for you.
“Let your fingertips glide over your hips, bottom and inner thighs. There’s a good chance it’ll help you get aroused.”
Then let your hands move further down, as if someone else were touching you. Take as much time as you need on this “route”. Eventually, you arrive at your vulva.
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Tip 5: Try a vibrator
Using a vibrator can be a really pleasant way to pleasure yourself, and let’s be honest — it takes some of the work off your hands. Especially if you struggle to orgasm or to masturbate with your fingers, a vibrator might be just the thing. There are countless models to choose from.
An air-pressure vibrator
Air-pressure vibrators have become especially popular in recent years. These toys don’t suck — they release pulses of air that stimulate the clitoris. And it works really well for many women. Just place the nozzle over your clitoris and the device does the rest.
On a smaller budget? The Satisfyer Pro 2 is a great pick. Got a bit more to spend? Try the Womanizer Premium.
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A rabbit vibrator
The rabbit is probably the most well-known vibrator out there. Beyond being insertable, it also has a clitoral stimulator so you get double stimulation. Be careful when buying — don’t go for a rabbit that rotates, squirts, lights up and thrusts all at once. That’s likely to be too much stimulation.
For beginners, we recommend the EasyToys Lily vibrator — well-placed motors, easy to clean and a slight curve for your G-spot. A slightly stronger alternative is the Sway Vibes 2.0.
New to the world of sex toys? Here are the best for beginners!
A vibrator with strong vibrations
If you need a lot of stimulation to reach orgasm, a wand vibrator is your best choice. These powerful vibrators were originally designed as neck massagers, but over time they took on quite a different role.
One of the better ones is the MyMagicWand, which offers very deep vibrations. There are also various attachments available, so you can mix things up to your heart’s content.
A small vibrator
Not every woman wants a big, powerful vibrator. If you’re after something smaller, a mini vibrator is a great choice. With more budget? The We-Vibe Tango is a great mini vibrator with surprisingly deep vibrations. With less to spend? The Lipstick Vibrator from Blush is perfect — discreet enough to fit in your handbag.
Note: mini vibrators tend to vibrate less powerfully than larger ones because of their size. But if you don’t need much stimulation, a small vibrator will do just fine.
Tip 6: Try these masturbation techniques
Some women like firm rubbing, while others reach the finish line with gentle touches — and the latter is the case for most women. We’ve put together a few masturbation techniques to help you figure out what feels right for you. Use a little lube or natural lubrication to make things glide and feel comfortable.
Indirect stimulation
For some women, direct contact with the clitoris is so intense it’s uncomfortable. In that case, try masturbating with your underwear on, or with a pillow between your legs. Gently rub your flat hand over your underwear, applying a little pressure at the clitoris. For the pillow method, lie face-down with the pillow between your legs and move your hips back and forth to create friction.
The scissors
If you can take a bit more direct stimulation, try the scissor technique. Make a scissor with your index and middle finger and place them either side of your labia, with your clitoris in the middle. Move up and down, top to bottom, or side to side. You can squeeze your fingers together gently. You’re not directly touching your clit, but you’ll definitely feel the movement.
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The circular motion
The circular motion is probably the most well-known. Hold your labia apart with one hand while you masturbate with the other. Use one or two fingers and make circles around your clitoris. A little natural lubrication, saliva or water-based lube is highly recommended. Once you’re aroused enough, you can make the same circles directly on your clit.
“Once you’re aroused enough, you can make the same circles directly on your clitoris.”
The tapping technique
If you need more stimulation than the techniques above, try the tapping technique. Always do this gently and let your clitoris get used to the touch. Essentially, you’re giving your clitoris soft, rhythmic taps, sending little pleasure pulses through it. Speed up your finger movements as you get closer to climax.
G-spot massage
Not every woman likes only clitoral stimulation. In that case, you can bring your G-spot into the mix. Massage your labia and clitoris with one hand, while inserting a finger with the other. Around 3 to 5 cm in, towards your belly, you’ll feel a slightly ridged thickening. That’s your G-spot — really the inner extension of your clitoris. The clitoris isn’t just the visible part outside; it continues internally too. Lift your hips a little to feel the G-spot more clearly. Then make a “come here” or beckoning motion. You can apply some pressure here.
“Around 3 to 5 cm in, on your belly side, you’ll feel a slightly ridged thickening. That’s your G-spot — really the inner extension of your clitoris.”
The key with all these techniques is to keep a rhythm and not stop. That’s when the chance of orgasm is highest. Don’t forget the area around your vulva — every now and then, massage your inner thighs, labia, nipples, and (if you’re up for it) your bottom and anus.
Got any more questions about these masturbation tips, or have your own to share? Let us know in the comments below!